Am I selfish?
I'm at a messy room in what they call the world's most beautiful small country....And when I wake up in the morning no one offers me hot tea... and I don't go to temple everyday morning... the aunty living next door does not notice if my hair has grown longer and I'm no more invited for neighbourhood tea or colony meetings...
I came back from India two days back... and I'm not sure why i did....I turned blind to my mom's tears..I turned away from my dad's silence... and I walked ahead with my ambitions...My mom's happy for me ... so is my dad... they are happy that I'm doing what I like the most... after all parents are always like that they let these brats do whatever they want...My mom and dad aern't happy... they are happy for me...
But I do no sacrifices... selfish I'm...I can never so unconditionally let the mostloved part of my life leave me for whatever for however long....All I see is my upcoming job... stupid dreams of working in Airbus one day...
I'm artificial and selfish and made of stone and has no emotions....
I beleive so...
I'm lying...
I cried when the plane took off... I cried when I reached here... I'm sad and ... I miss waking up and seeing my mom... I regret fights with dad...
I'm sad and I don't find any reasoning about what I'm doing and why...
I don't get pleasure thinking about making heart valves or aircrafts....I'm depressed....
Miss you mum... miss you dad....
I knew I would.... but still I came... am I selfish????
I came back from India two days back... and I'm not sure why i did....I turned blind to my mom's tears..I turned away from my dad's silence... and I walked ahead with my ambitions...My mom's happy for me ... so is my dad... they are happy that I'm doing what I like the most... after all parents are always like that they let these brats do whatever they want...My mom and dad aern't happy... they are happy for me...
But I do no sacrifices... selfish I'm...I can never so unconditionally let the mostloved part of my life leave me for whatever for however long....All I see is my upcoming job... stupid dreams of working in Airbus one day...
I'm artificial and selfish and made of stone and has no emotions....
I beleive so...
I'm lying...
I cried when the plane took off... I cried when I reached here... I'm sad and ... I miss waking up and seeing my mom... I regret fights with dad...
I'm sad and I don't find any reasoning about what I'm doing and why...
I don't get pleasure thinking about making heart valves or aircrafts....I'm depressed....
Miss you mum... miss you dad....
I knew I would.... but still I came... am I selfish????
posted by divi | 2:27 AM
4 Comments:
Ouch! No you are not selfish and this too shall pass. And when it does, you will feel worse.
Sorry, i meant to help!
dushyant, is it the same for everyone always??? if it's so are we right or are we wrong??
I dont think it is the same for everybody. If you toughen up when you face difficulties then perhaps you walk the path of indifference. If you turn to friends, family and end up spending more on calling cards then I suppose you remain sadder but at the sametime continue being human. Am I making any sense?
In any case, I wish you the best. Now that you have left it behind, the least you can do is give your best in getting where you wanted to be.
I dont find anything wrong with ur move ... your are prefectly on ur way BUT certain things in life is to be considered when u mean so much to a person !! this happens with friends and family !! No other go thts life ... u need to face it !!
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