Definitions of life

Mom...
The only touchable reality...the unchorded bonding that keeps you safe half the world away...wherever you may go you are never far from her....
Dad...
The chess battles on a rainy evening...the little fights...the safety of walking with my hands closed tightly on his index finger...
Home...
The little courtyard...mom oiling my hair...dad sitting behind and chatting...a call from best friend...the concept of being stress free...the concept of being content with life...
Winter...
An aircraft touching down on a quiet airport in a beautiful country side....smiling face of the man who came to be described as the world's best professor...and the first breeze of cold wind on to face....welcome to scotland
Summer...
Sunglasses, capris and nike shoes...sunburns at 20 deg...too long days and four hour nights...exhaustive shopping sprees..discoveringlife's realities across a coffee table at Costa...24 hrs never enough when you have nothing to do...
Night...
Unending chats with two giggling friends fighting for a single duvette... business plans madeand cancelled in matter of hours...late night horror movies.. mid night dinner...best part of the day
Nirupama...
the confidence that keeps me going...the cotroller of the circus...the chord that binds us...my best friend
Tanya...
The boy analyst...the prey catcher...the tomboy and the lover girl...our funny bone
Aditi...
Her analysis corrected my assumptions...my unanswerable questions got their unquestionable answers...

This post will be continued... stopping now for lack of time....

Am I selfish?

I'm at a messy room in what they call the world's most beautiful small country....And when I wake up in the morning no one offers me hot tea... and I don't go to temple everyday morning... the aunty living next door does not notice if my hair has grown longer and I'm no more invited for neighbourhood tea or colony meetings...
I came back from India two days back... and I'm not sure why i did....I turned blind to my mom's tears..I turned away from my dad's silence... and I walked ahead with my ambitions...My mom's happy for me ... so is my dad... they are happy that I'm doing what I like the most... after all parents are always like that they let these brats do whatever they want...My mom and dad aern't happy... they are happy for me...
But I do no sacrifices... selfish I'm...I can never so unconditionally let the mostloved part of my life leave me for whatever for however long....All I see is my upcoming job... stupid dreams of working in Airbus one day...
I'm artificial and selfish and made of stone and has no emotions....
I beleive so...
I'm lying...
I cried when the plane took off... I cried when I reached here... I'm sad and ... I miss waking up and seeing my mom... I regret fights with dad...
I'm sad and I don't find any reasoning about what I'm doing and why...
I don't get pleasure thinking about making heart valves or aircrafts....I'm depressed....
Miss you mum... miss you dad....
I knew I would.... but still I came... am I selfish????